Another Stonehenge discovery: Estonian farmer reveals new theory

In a twist that is shaking the archaeological world, an Estonian farmer claims to have uncovered the woolly truth behind Stonehenge's mysterious origins.

When Mart Maastik, an entrepreneur, sheep enthusiast and a self-proclaimed ‘sheep scientist’, visited Stonehenge in 2023, he could not help but notice the striking similarities between Stonehenge and an ancient structure on the island of Saaremaa in Estonia.

"It was a real ‘Eureka’ moment for me! All of a sudden I could see it in front of my eyes: the neolithic sheep worshippers brilliant design."

Mart is convinced that Stonehenge started as a sheep corral and place for sheep-worship. "It’s obvious when you look at the round shape. And just look at the trilithons – there are clear signs that they were used by sheep to scratch their backs."

Scientists are baa-ffled!

We reached out to Professor Baarbara McFleece, a zooarcheologist for a comment. "This is a fascinating theory!" said Professor McFleece. "What many people don’t realise is that sheep were very significant for people in the stone age. They provided milk, meat and wool – everything you needed to survive!"

"This is a completely new lens to look at archeological findings though and we may have to reconsider the use of other sites as well. The Great Pyramid of Giza may have been used as a sheep shelter. Our experts suggest those narrow passages were perfect for herding sheep to higher ground during Nile floods."

New theory goes viral

The new theory about the origin of Stonehenge has already caused quite a storm and hashtags #sheephenge and #lambhenge have started to trend on social media.

A popular meme shows a split image: on one side, a traditional depiction of druids at Stonehenge; on the other, the same scene with sheep replacing the druids. The caption reads: "Historians: Druids built Stonehenge. Mart Maastik: Hold my wool."

Lambhenge: Saaremaa's Stone-Age sensation

Back home on the small island of Saaremaa, Mart has made a great discovery. He claims to have uncovered ‘Lambhenge’ - a stone structure possibly predating Stonehenge itself.

According to sheep scientists, Lambhenge is older than any other man-made structure and encompasses colorful traditions and customs unique to sheep-worship. It is not impossible that it was the Vikings who carried the knowledge to England.

Around Lambhenge, Mart has put up countless sheep figures representing their entanglement with human society. "It's like a stone-age soap opera," said Mart, "complete with drama, romance, and plenty of woolly intrigue!" This is Mart’s ‘Sheepville’ or Lambakogu in his native tongue, Estonian.

Sheep scientists are convinced that the traditions of the Song and Dance Festivals in Estonia, Latvia, and Lithuania are closely tied to ‘Lambhenge’.

Curious visitors — eager archaeology enthusiasts and tourists — are flocking to the remote but accessible island of Saaremaa. "We are receiving visitors from all over the world recently! Our capital city Tallinn is known for its beautiful mediaeval Old Town. Perhaps soon enough people will come to Estonia just to visit Lambhenge!"

Estonia’s largest island Saaremaa is a short 20-minute flight from the capital.

"Just remember," Mart advises with a mischievous smile, "if you're planning to count sheep to fall asleep here, you might want to bring a calculator. Our stone flock has a way of multiplying faster than you can count to 10!"

Editor’s note: Yes, Saaremaa and Lambhenge are real places, and Mart Maastik is indeed a real person — though his sheep theories might be a bit... woolly. The rest of this article is pure humour. Please do not use it as a source of information for your homework or as an interesting fact strike up a conversation on a dating app (unless you are looking for a specific type of partner).